The Effects of Sugar on the Human Body
by LaLaFaery
Summary: Ginny finds a secret stash of hidden sugar, eats it all, and goes on a little rampage.... Sirius finds himself with a new hairdo, and James discovers a wonderful muggle toy called a 'Barbie'...
1. I'm a Chicken Sandwich

_Random fanfiction. I was bored, hyper, and, oh yeah, BORED! Oh, and by the way, I do not, I repeat, DO NOT_

_own Harry Potter. Although I wish I did, because if I did, then I would be richer than the Queen of England._

Ginny walked down the school hallway. Well, actually, 'walked' is the wrong word. '**CAUSED MASSIVE DESTRUCTION'** and '**WREAKED HAVOC'** would have been more appropriate. Ginny, ahem, traveled down the hallway merrily, running into people every few feet.

THUD.

"Sorry!"

THUD.

"My bad!"

THUD… Well, you get the idea. Ginny continued her rampage until she screeched to a halt in front of Hermione and Harry.

"HeyHarryHeyHermioneguesswhatIatealotofsugarandguesswhatIfoundoutthatIcanfly!" she chatted hyperly. Harry stared at her with his mouth open.

"Is she always like this?" he asked in a choked voice.

"Pretty much." Hermione responded dryly, as she watched Ginny pretending to be a kangaroo. "Don't worry; she'll crash in about, oh, five minutes."

Sure enough, five minutes later, Ginny flopped down on the floor, and fell asleep.

"Awwww, she's so cute when she's asleep!" Harry squealed. Hermione rolled her eyes, and dragged him down the hallway toward the Gryffindor commons.

All of a sudden, Ginny sat up straight, her eyes shining brightly.

"I'm a chicken sandwich, I'm a chicken sandwich!" she sang as she skipped down the hallways after Hermione and Harry.


	2. The Locker and the Fire

DIE, locker, DIE!" Ginny cackled as she pounded on her locker. Nearby students stared at her with mixed curiosity and fear. Meanwhile, Ginny noticed that she wasn't making a dent in her locker, and had decided to try a different method. She was currently rubbing two rulers together, trying to create a fire when Hermione walked up.

"Um, Ginny? What are you doing?"

"FIRE!!!" chuckled Ginny gleefully as the rulers started to burn,

"Okay, Ginny. Put the rulers down and back away slowly."


	3. Car Trip

Ginny stared out the window of Hermione's muggle car and groaned.

"Are we there yet?" she whined.

"No." sighed Hermione, who was driving.

"Well, how about now?"

"Still no."

"Now?"

"ARGH!" screamed Hermione. "If you don't stop, I'm going to crash the car!"

"Really?" asked Ginny looking interested.

"NO! NOW SHUT UP!"

"Fine." Ginny pouted.

There was a long pause.

"Let's sing a song."

"No."

"Fine. Be that way."

There was another pause, followed by some lengthily sighs. Ginny looked over at Hermione.

"Are we there yet?"


	4. The Mind of Sirius Black

_Hey Everyone! A couple of these Sirius chapters used to be under the story 'The Unpredictable Mind of Sirius Black", so that's why they might seem familiar. Enjoy!_

_"I hate you!" _

**"Well, I hated you first!"**

_"Nuh uh! I hated you way before that!"_

I rolled my eyes. Lily and James were at it. AGAIN. I turned around in my big comfy chair and gave them what I hoped

was a look that said something along the lines of 'I-am-going-to-rip-your-throat-out'.

"If you two don't SHUT UP I will personally strangle both of you!" I snarled in my most menacing voice. Lily,

unfortunately didn't get the message, and glared back at me. James, on the other hand, ran off and hid in a corner. Lily rolled

her luscious green eyes and dragged him back. She leaned forward and whispered something in James' ear. He nodded

enthusiastically, he turned to me.

"Sirius." he said solemnly. "We have decided to ignore you completely and return to whatever it was that we were doing."

He looked slightly confused, as if you couldn't quite remember what he and Lily had been doing. He looked at Lily. "Did it

involve snogging?" he asked hopefully. Lily smacked him in the head. I winced. That had to have hurt. Too bad James

wasn't a bit brighter. If he was, maybe then he would know to duck when Lilly tried to hit him. I bet I could write a book on

it. Maybe call it something like _'How to Train Your Best Friend'. _Ah, poor James. He has to work on his manly skills,

whereas other people (ahem, me) inherit them naturally, along with the ability to attract girls to me like flies to honey. I...

"Sirius."

... wonder what's...

"Sirius!"

... for dinner tonight?

"SIRUS!" Lily shouted.

"Hmmm?" I returned to the present, all thoughts of dinner vanishing at the sight of Lily's scowl. She glared at me.

"You really should keep your thoughts to yourself." I looked at her confused.

"What?!?" I said, rather intelligently.

"You were thinking out loud again."

"Oops." I said innocently.

"And James is standing behind you, holding a planted pot over your head."

"So he heard the part about the lack of manly skills?"

Lily nodded.

I winced. Me and my big mouth.

_Some time later... After I had the plant dropped unceremoniously on my head..._

When I woke up, I was lying in a bed. In the hospital wing. And a slightly worried-looking Lily was leaning over me. Awww... Lily

was worried about me! James, on the other hand, was leaning against the wall across from my bed, looking totally

unconcerned that his best mate had just been mortally wounded. Oh wait. It's coming back to me now. He was the one who

had done the wounding. He is so dead.

Lily looked over at James, not realizing that I had woken up. "Do you think he'll be okay?" she asked, looking worried. La la la la.

Lily was worried for me! In your face, James! I have no clue WHY that pleases me. It just does... go figure.

"He'll be fine." James smiled winningly at her.

"Well, of COURSE I'm fine, James." I said, sitting up suddenly, startling Lily. "I'm always fine. It's you who's going to

need to be careful."

"Yeah. Probably. Just as soon as you get over that massive headache your going to get." he smirked at me, and I growled back.

"You've won this time, Potter. But just remember, I know where you live." I let myself drop back down into the bed, and closed my

eyes.

"Oh, I'm scared now."

I opened one eye and glared at him. "You'd better be." I muttered at him, before drifting back to sleep.

_To be continued…_


	5. The Mind of Sirius Black is Back

As predicted by a certain SOMEBODY, I woke up the next morning with a massive headache. No, seriously. Try imagining an elephant standing on your head, multiply that by a hundred, and you'll get close to how much agony I was in. I let out a pathetic moan, hoping to convey my pain to the rest of the world. And, here's a shocker, it seems as though the rest of the world didn't care.

"Sirius, you sound like an dying elephant." A voice giggled. My eyes snapped open. And standing before my lovely green eyes was my girlfriend-of-the-day, Patricia. Wait, that's not her name. Is it?... Maybe it's Mary... no, maybe it was...umm.. Lucille, no wait, Lucille was last week... Dang it, what WAS her name again? Oh, parrot.

I looked up and gave her what I hoped was my most charming smile.

"Uh, hey?" I said weakly. She giggled.

"You are so cute!" she squealed, and lovingly pinched me on my cheek. Ouch.

"What?" I said, feeling confused.

"Fish."

"What?"

"SLAPPY FISH!"

I sighed. Even though I was sure what's-her-name-again was trying to tell me something really important, I could not for the life of me understand what she was saying. That was, until I was suddenly slapped by something with shiny scales hard enough to send me on a trip to the sun.

"Ugh." I groaned. "Did someone get the number of the thing that just hit me?"

"Oh! Oh! I did!" cried my girlfriend. "It was... a FISH!"

Um, okay. That explains a lot.

Just then, my ex-best friend decided to enter the room.

"Ah, Sirius." James exclaimed, "I see your girlfriend woke you up." I growled, while my girlfriend proudly held up her fish, which she used to SLAP me with. She slapped me. Me. The God of Gryffindor. How could she? How could she?!?!?!?

_Please wait for a moment while our main character _

_collects the little remains of his sanity..._

"Wait, Sirius was actually sane at one point?" says James, looking confused.

Lily smacks him.

"Be nice. It's not HIS fault he's crazy." She looks reproachfully at James. He pouts defensively.

"Don't look at me. _I_ didn't do it."

_Unhappily, Sirius Black has been forced to attend St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies. Due to his now fagile state of mind (ahem, JAMES), Sirius will no longer be able to continues this story for a short period_


	6. The Burning

Ginny glared menacingly at her Potions textbook. And glared. And glared some more.

"Um, Ginny?" ventured Harry timidly, "What are you doing?"

Ginny turned and glared at him, and then turned back to the textbook.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Uh, holding a staring match with the book?" Harry said hopelessly, baffled by the female mind.

"Nooo, I'm trying to burn a hole in my Potions textbook!"

"So you won't have to do your homework?" he asked sarcastically.

"Exactly."

"I think that's a lost cause, Ginny." Harry said dryly. Ginny sighed, and her glare softened.

"You're right, but I could've sworn I smelled smoke there for a minute." she joked.

"That's because Neville just set you on fire."

"Oh. Yeah. That would do it."


	7. So Much For Peace

It was a peaceful morning in the wizarding world. But not for long…. Shrill yells pierced the previously calm air as a distant red-headed figure tore down the hallways of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A disgruntled Professor Snape stuck his head out of the Potions Room.

"What," he snarled, "is going _on_ out here?" He peered down the hallway at the screaming figure. "I'll bet it's that Ginny Wesley again." He muttered to himself.

Suddenly, Ginny fell from the ceiling where she had been doing who-in-the-world-knows-what.

"What'd I do this time?" She chirped brightly. Snape blinked in confusion, and peered down the hallway.

"That's… not you?" he asked in disbelief.

"Nope!" Ginny grinned.

"Are you sure?" Snape glared at her suspiciously.

"Positive." Ginny turned, and trotted off down the hallway.

"Then who is it?" he called out after her. Ginny turned around and raised one eyebrow mysteriously.

"Ron saw a butterfly."


	8. Animagity

Rated K 

Humor

By: JollyRoger

I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. But I still own the main idea. I thank my sis LaLaFaery for Lily's Animagus.

"Okay, Lily, today you're going to start learning to be an Animagus." James said primly. He handed her a potion.

"First, drink the potion."

Lily made a face at the cold concoction that strongly resembled and reeked of vomit.

"Why?" Lily scoffed. James fixed her with a stern glare.

"Drink it."

Lily pinched her nose, sipped it and promptly started choking and coughing. James pretended to ignore her overly dramatic display.

"Don't worry if it takes you a while to get it right. It took me almost 6 months."

Lily rolled her eyes. It had actually taken him more than a year, but whatever.

"Now, close your eyes and concentrate on your inner animal." James closed his eyes and attempted to look wise. He actually just looked constipated. Lily fought back a laugh. James cracked open a disapproving eye and glared. She sighed and closed her eyes, thinking of a fox.

"Think of that animal's essence. Make that essence your own." there was a pause. "Now open your eyes." James opened his eyes and his jaw dropped nearly to the ground. "Bloody…"

Before him sat a vixen smirking at him. Lily changed back into human form.

"So," she said, smiling smugly. "What do we learn next?"


	9. The Authoress Goes Insane

It was a usual day at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,

which was to say,

that it was completely unusual in every possible way.

Snape's hair was curly, and smelled of lilacs.

Ginny was pestering the second years,

while Peeves was doing her homework.

Harry was tromping about valiant in the corridors while wearing a suit of armor,

and Hermione and Draco were snogging in a corner.

So, yes, it was a normally abnormal day at Hogwarts.

_Yah! I was bored! Sorry... this is horrible... I'll delete it soon..._


End file.
